Friday, November 26, 2010

Quero apenas acordar e continuar tranquilo ... Sem o coração acelerando, sem o choro contido.
Sem querer correr sem destino, sem querer gritar palavras que não existem.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Friday, November 19, 2010

Ossos de Vidro ( analogia barata )

Há pessoas com uma doença chamada "ossos de vidro" - Todo cuidado é pouco, um simples abraço pode literalmente "quebrá-las".

Deve haver pessoas com algum tipo problema similar - algo como - "emoções de vidro".



E eu devo ser o sem-noção, que abraça-as e quebra-lhes, de forma que pegam trauma de mim.



Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The thing is ...

The thing is... Despite all my lack of respect for myself most of times... I actually do respect the fact that I'm human.

I do love being human.
I do embrace the good and evil parts of ourselves. There's no growth if one does not deal with it, on a daily basis...
I mean _ We, human beings, the ones who kill, who steal, who hurt... We human beings, are simply brilliant still.
We build, we agree, disagree, agree in disagreeing, we help, we sacrifice, we create art, we love.

I know most times we just do not feel part of it. There's no connection with most people.
There are too many questions, too many feelings that are unexplainable, inside, burning.
There are many fantasies and fears.
And most times, we just do not feel connected, we feel, as my favorite composer says : " celularly alone" .
But, then, a heartbeat. A smile, a song, a view... A hug, a lyric, a song... A look in the mirror. The thought of love you once felt... And you think : "Danm! I am human and it's all part of it. All these things, good and bad, lovely and disgusting... yours and mine. Macro and micro. I am one with you simply because I am human."


And then, that call of death, that icy silence that freezes the soul, sounds so not worth it.


Dad ?

Parece meu pai, que chorava com música clássica e abandonava crianças pequenas ao vento.

Amanhã...

Amanhã é sem direção.
E tudo o que eu sou é no que posso me segurar.


E esse "tudo" ... Tão efêmero. Mutável...
Dissipando-se como nuvens. Acumulando como nuvens...



Amanhã poderia fazer Sol.

Alternativa

Corpo abandonado, drogas imperando,
Olhar piedoso, convite para tratamento.
Uma outra alternativa, sim, por que não ?
E nada parecia tão ruim...
Perspectivas em preto e branco na realidade alegram-me.
Corpo move-se, atende à boa-vontade alheia,
Olhar descrente, inércia aparente.
Uma outra alternativa, sim, por que não ?
E nada parecia tão ruim...
Perspectivas...


Monday, November 15, 2010

Nothing in the Silence - Belle & Sebastian

Something set me thinking,
When I opened up my eyes
That there was nothing there to tell me
I'd been listening to lies.

But in silence there is truth
There is beauty, there is love
There is nothing in the silence
To be frightened of.

Her retreat and so few words
Is the last thing you'd expect.
But there's danger in assuming
That she's being direct.

Take a look behind her eyes
And you will see.
That she knows nothing of silence
Silence can only come from me.

Allow me then a little time
To listen to their voices.
It's the glamour and confusion,
It's the rattling and the noises.

That obscure the truth, the beauty
And the love.
And their clarity that silence
Is the guardian of.

She talks of clarity and silence
Of beauty and of truth.
But search her heart for evidence
Search herself for proof.

Take a look behind her eyes
And you will see.
That she knows nothing of silence
Silence can only come from me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7zE6L9R02s

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Tapes - Flavours of Entanglement - Alanis Morissette

I am someone easy to leave
Even easier to forget
A voice, if inaccurate

Again, I'm the one they all run from
Diatribes of clouded sun
Someone help me find the pause button

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren't my own
Wreaking havoc

I'm too exhausting to be loved
A volatile chemical
Best to quarantine and cut off

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren't my own
Wreaking havoc

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren't my own
Wreaking havoc

I'm a thorn in your sweet side
You are better off without me
It'd be best to leave at once

All these tapes in my head swirl around
Keeping my vibe down
All these thoughts in my head aren't my own
Wreaking havoc

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Underestimating ( all of us )

And you can talk for hours and you won't say it's too much to handle, and all you needed was a shoulder to cry on.
And you can seduce your own mind excusing yourself in your so-called willingness to let it go.
That is brutal.
As I go back in your own writings I read "lots of love" adressed to someone you used as fodder in a purgatorying time, this same someone you told me once : he was on fire to have his ass fucked so I did the job and he was obsessed with me.
It is so easy to say this word - love.
Cannot face your own face.
Cannot dare to use your voice.
Cannot live outside the oyster.
And you can't talk for a minute it takes too much to move a muscle, all you needed was a silent punch-bag.
And you can seduce my mind excusing my health issues in your so-called willingness to let me in.
That is brutal.
As I go back in your own speeches I hear words as "connectedness; selfelessness" adressed to someone you used as fodder in a what goes around comes around time, this same someone you told me once: hey I don't feel like talking, can't see how much effort I've been going thru to keep up with you ?

So, do not keep on fooling yourself.
So, do not keep on underestimating us all.


Embracing.




When it comes to honesty, I should say, I love him.

Or at least, the impressions he left on you.


Burglars


Abriu-se uma porta e aquele cômodo, fechado há anos, foi revisitado. Móveis empoeirados sequer foram limpos, a limpeza foi na realidade uma reforma. Joguei fora o que mantive intacto tantos anos.
Abri as janelas, a porta. Coloquei tudo para fora. Comecei a raspar a pintura antiga.
Cores vibrantes, diziam-me - E assim comecei a pintura.

Agora doem-me os olhos e nada combina.
Pintura inacabada, porta caída, janela quebrada.

Que ladrões entrem e levem o resto da tinta.


San Juan

"Maybe because we didn't have enough time to spend together, we only have good stuff to remember. You are the only guy who came into my life and didn't leave bad memories."





It feels good somehow. And you are always surprising me.

Boa Sorte.

" Tudo o que quer me dar
É demais
É pesado
Não há paz

Tudo o que quer de mim
Irreais
Expectativas
Desleais ..."


( Vanessa da Mata )

É bem por aí. Só faltou essa música ao fundo.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

Communication - The Cardigans

Communication - The Cardigans

For 27 years I've been trying
To believe and confide in
Different people I've found
Some of them got closer than others
Some wouldn't even bother
And then you came around

I didn't really know what to call you
You didn't know me at all
But I was happy to explain
I never really knew how to move you
So I tried to intrude through
The little holes in your vanes
And I saw you

But that's not an invitation
That's all I get!
If this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you
But I don't know how to connect
So I disconnect

You always seem to know where to find me
And I'm still here behind you
In the corner of your eye
I'll never really learn how to love you
But I know that I love you
Through the hole in the sky
Where I see you

And that's not an invitation
That's all I get
If this is communication
I disconnect
I've seen you, I know you
But I don't know how to connect
So I disconnect

Well, this is an invitation
It's not a threat
If you want communication
That's what you get
I'm talking and talking
But I don't know how to connect
And I hold a record for being patient
With your kind of hesitation
I need you, you want me
But I don't know how to connect
So I disconnect
I disconnect

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tq_3S-77tiM&feature=related

or

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTpaZf9xqGg&feature=related