Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Never is a Promise - Fiona Apple

You'll never see the courage I know
It's color's richness won't appear within your view
I'll never glow the way that you glow
Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I understand what I am still too proud to mention to you

You'll say you understand, but you don't understand
You'll say you'll never give up seeing eye to eye
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never touch these things that I hold
The skin of my emotions lies beneath my own
You'll never feel the heat of this soul
My fever burns me deeper than I've ever shown to you

You'll say: "Don't fear your dreams.", it's easier than it seems
You'll say you'd never let me fall from hopes so high
But never is a promise, and you can't afford to lie

You'll never live this life that I live
I'll never live the life that wakes me in the night
You'll never hear the message I give
You'll say it looks as though I might give up this fight

But as the scenery grows, I see in different lights
The shades and shadows undulate in my perception
My feelings swell and stretch, I see from greater heights
I realize what I am now too smart to mention to you

You'll say you understand - you'll never understand
I'll say I'll never wake up knowing how or why
I don't know what to believe in - you don't know who I am
You'll say I'll need appeasing when I start to cry
But never is a promise, and I'll never need a lie

Monday, December 13, 2010

Uma das bençãos em minha vida : " Entender" .


Havia amor.
Houve decepção.
Houve tristeza.
Houve raiva.
Houve silêncio.
Houve compreensão.
Há amor.


Uma das maldições em minha vida : " Entender ".
E um amigo diz _ : " Você está dando muita importância pra este cara." _ Ok, concordo.
E paro pra pensar em motivos cabíveis, não que eu deva alguma explicação para alguém, mas já que é pra ter este mal-estar dentro do peito, que seja por algo que eu saiba explicar, ao menos.

E penso... E penso...

E vejo meu ego ferido e respiro aliviado. Afinal, problema meu.

E então... Vejo desespero em uma busca pelo extraordinário... Tudo porque ( demorou-me um tanto para perceber ), a realidade é tão, tão ordinária que dói.
Dói saber exatamente quais são suas limitações.

E então vejo minha tristeza traduzida em quase raiva.
Porque não quero ultrapassar o limite da cordialidade.

Porque o paradoxo se transforma em comédia-trágica.



Monday, December 06, 2010

Paulo


Late night my love's in bed alone
My lovely child, big brown eyes wide smile
And I watch his sleep
And I care for him and it aches inside
He's got the sweettest laughter
He's got all that energy that makes everything around shine
He's only four, his tiny body so perfect
He's love, pure expression, my love, my child
And I watch him ... Dreaming of cartoons
Dreaming of us playing in the yard

They teach him not to value what really matters
They've forgotten what it feels like for a child

And now his eyes are not tender as they used to be
And now his laughter is histerical, a cry for attention
And now he's scared...
'Cuz he's getting aware of what they're taking away from him.

Miss him. Miss him more than anything else in this world.
I pray God watches his sleep... his days and his nights.

Sunday, December 05, 2010

Keep on beating.

I've starred at some writings and I've starred at some memories and sabotage is all I see.

Trying to comprehend and losing myself, trying to ignore and losing myself, trying to avoid and losing myself.

There's no shield, no armour, no sword to fight a heart that still beats.

What to do then with all demands we gather throughout the years ? What to do with that list that keeps on growing cuz you don't wanna go thru similar stories or repeat same characters dressed in new outfits ? What to say when your heart asks for more and all you are able to give is a fail to deal, fail to wait, fail to have a chance to let it fail.

I've starred at some writings and I've starred at some memories and sabotage is all I see.

Trying to comprehend and finding myself, trying to ignore and finding myself, trying to avoid and finding myself.

There's no shield, no armour, no sword to fight a heart that still beats.

What to do then with all those feelings that are part of you since before you were born ? What to do with that list that you had once that was short and it said on the first item "love and be loved in return" ? What to say when your heart asks for more and all you are able to give is a blurried sight, fail to cope, fail to hope, fail to have a chance to let it hope.


Keep on beating.


Thursday, December 02, 2010

The Rat within the Grain - Damien Rice

This would not have happened if I hadn't missed my plane
I would've been there when they told you I'm the rat within the grain
Within this big misunderstanding out and being misunderstood
I'm thinkin' someone's trying to fuck with me and set fire to my wood

Well I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

It's a stupid situation now where everything goes wrong
If you can't tell if I am lying: then you do not belong
In my bed, go rest your head upon the bones of a bigger man
And he will cover you with rockwool and you can close up like a clam

I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful, and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

So go play with your piano and write a mediocre song
About this shell of mediocrity: pretend there's nothing wrong.
I never thought you were a chicken shit:
I never thought of you at all
Until you asked me to be part of it
And now you're showing me a wall

I wouldn't want you to want to be wanted by me
I wouldn't want you to worry you'd be drowned within my sea
I only wanted to be wonderful and wonderful is true
In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you

In truth, I only really wanted to be wanted by you